drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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