I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
