Your tits are I can't wait for
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
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He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
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SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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