I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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