I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
this beer tastes like vomit already
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
