If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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