sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
