in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Your penis caused this!
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