Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
