Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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