I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
