oh god the rape fog is back!
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dick very happy bro
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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