Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
