literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
