is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize