Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
