I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
