Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
