make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
