Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
