you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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