I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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