hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
