I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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