It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
