walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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