Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wish you could order shots online.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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