I want to have your abortion
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
