absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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