My hand turned me down
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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