I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
