While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize