i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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