Don't you send me to vm
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
