Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
