At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize