i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Randomize
