Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
