Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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