Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
