real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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