I wannas sexs uuuuu
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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