You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
