Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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