just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sober January is a disaster.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize