dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
