im drinking this country out of the recession.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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