i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
