Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
