(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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