I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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