I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So many bounce houses so little time
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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