Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
