There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
