think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize