Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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