Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She's the barista slut.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
