...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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