Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
